TO: Adolf Hitler
FROM: Josef Goebbels
Our stein runneth over! I have brought you good news before, but this is BIG.
In recent times, we have seen neo-Nazis demonstrating all over the Continent, Scandinavia, and Great Britain, as the Right becomes resurgent in the face of slumping economies and unchecked immigration. But the United States has been resistant to such activity. Until now.
At the University of California in Davis—California, mein Führer!—there has been an incident guaranteed to warm a Nazi’s heart. The members of Alpha Epsilon Pi, a Jewish fraternity, awoke to find swastikas scrawled on the outside walls of their house.
This was the culmination of successful maneuvering by members of the student senate. They called for the university to divest itself from companies doing business with Israel. And behold! Their resolution passed. So triumphant was one senator, Azka Fayyaz, that she posted a photo on Facebook with the caption: “Hamas & Sharia law have taken over UC Davis.”
As you know, the Hamas charter not only reviles the Jewish State, it condemns Jews outright just as we did—though their statement is expressed in scriptural cadences: “The Day of Judgment will not come until Muslims fight the Jews, when the Jew will hide behind stones and trees. The stones and trees will say, ‘O Muslim, O servant of God, there is a Jew behind me, come and kill him.’”
No doubt Ms. Fayyaz and her colleagues knew what they were advocating.
Predictably, the university administration issued a statement, harrumphing, “U.C. Davis is built on a foundation of tolerance and inclusion, and we have an obligation to treat each other with respect and dignity even when we disagree.”
Well, mein Führer, there is a place for bilge, on ships, in concentration camps, and even in institutes of higher learning. In fact, the statement deceives no one.
What is so encouraging about this clamor is that many countries regard Hamas as a terrorist organization. Among them are the U.S., Australia, Canada, Japan and, of course, Israel. Even Egypt condemns the armed units of Hamas.
Thus, the Islamic militants are held in higher esteem in the American West than in the country of the Pharaohs. Progress, mein Führer, progress! Until the next anti-Semitic incident—which I promise you will not be long in coming. Prosit!