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Nicole Gelinas
The Life of Zachary « Back to Story

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Sung to the tune of 'Laura'

Julia, she's the girl who's been TV screened
Julia, from the Dems she will ne'er be weaned
Obama, takes very good care of her
Yes, it's Julia, but she's only a dream
Brilliant!
Excellent story, but it could be adjusted. With a one child per woman birth rate, taxes rose much faster than expected. 50% of the population was over 65 years old by 2030, productivity and innovation were almost impossible to develop in the workplace and highly resisted by the ageing population comnsumers. As the world entered 2030, the Western nations and East Asian having aged very fast competed for the ever smaller population of young skilled migrants. Eventually these migrants themselves from populations with declining birth rates were given a lower tax rate than the domestic population black or white.
Then how about, by 2057 Zach about 45 he is made redundant and does odd jobs via the internet, being too old for a fast food joint. At 50 he is re-training in aged care and at 55 is a supervisor, but being white in a mainly black industry will never rise above this grade over the 20 years left in his working life. Home brewed spirits drunk most night help him forget for the loss of his daughter to the massive epidemic of drugs sweeping the country as young people are almost persecuted by the 60% of the population of over 75s for making noise. We are coming close to a demographic train wreck liberal's or republican's leading us.
James - Longdrycreek Ranch May 06, 2012 at 2:31 PM
Satire makes a strong case for no Obama.
You forgot the part in the story where the citizens of the country finally realized just who and what Obama is and after a lengthy trial he was sentenced to 20 years in a federal penitentiary. While in prison Obama writes yet another autobiography in which he blames former President George W. Bush for everything from his failed one term administration, his failure to defeat the Islamists in the war on terror to the fact that both of his daughters are now spokespersons for the Lesbian Liberation Front. Shelly Obama filed for divorce the day he entered prison and is now happily married to a rich White Lawyer.
Multigeneratonal Dependency May 05, 2012 at 6:11 PM
Wonderful real world resonse. Not to be too detailed, and I know the focus was primarily on Julia, but:

Zachary attends Head Start, then Kindergarten.
Julia learns that Head Start has no long term value and was a waste of time, and Zachary struggles through his first school year, needing nightly attention.

Julia packs Zachary's school lunch.
Julia want to promote a healthy vegan food diet with Zachary. She the learns the packed lunch has been confiscated at school as violating the school lunch program standards. Zachary is fed a burger and fries.

Zachary attends public schools and drops out. Julia is in a major city run by Democrats and teachers unions. The drop out rate is over 25%. After fearing for Zachary's life when he starts hanging out with street gangs, Julia fights with Zachary to get him to return to school and is successful. She questions the teachers on what they do with their children. The teachers all respond that they send their kids to private schools.
bravo nicole
what a sick pathetic and disgusting creature has julia the perennial ward of dtate become

perhaps even more frightening is their lack of insight on how abhorrent this all seems to standard american citizens.
This is Pullitzer Prize material. A wonderful and well thought out dissertation on Cradle to Grave Government Assistance. I am subscribing now. thanks again for this wonderful article.
Magnificent!
I believe Julia was born because her mother, A George Town law graduate, working at a Democrat Think Tank earning $160,000 a year could not afford to buy a 30 cent birth control pill. Now poor Julia has to suffer all her life and grow up without a father.
pft...Julia was denied a permit to plant a garden in her yard because the EPA has ruled that buildup of nutrients is detrimental to the Matterhorn slug species that lives on the bottom of her garbage pail.

Furthermore, they are suing her $10K a day until she makes appropriate accommodations for the slug and pays reparations to the families of those she killed by her ill-advised attempt at self-sufficiency.
It is totally stunning that this Julia story is viewed by so many as a good thing. Government largesse creates more problems than if will ever solve.
I don't think Julia would make it to 93. In spite of her otherwise good health, some expensive medications would be keeping her going. At some point, some cheerful bureaucrat would help her "make the right decision" to accept the humane administration of one, final "medication" so that a "grateful society" could help speed her on her "journey home".
How true. This should go viral.
Excellent and very realistic. I already personally know people literally doing all of the things in this article.
I think that all of you are missing the basic point of the Obama Administration's friends and supporters' presenting this Julia and her lifestyle; this is the ideal lifestyle that they are selling to Obama's core constituencies: African Americans and the poorest of whites who have little or no interest in achieving anything in life beyond stretching their welfare or unemployment check to the end of the month or maybe buying that winning lottery ticket that will set them up for life.
Julia having a child, father unknown, is as common to this population as buying a morning cup of coffee on the way to work is to the rest of us. The fact that this boy, Zachary, does not end up in prison, or shot to death on the street by a fellow drug dealer, is a major accomplishment to the above population.
They think its great.
Thank you....this needs to be hammered home. Government is not the answer, never will be. The Julia character, that the O team dreamed up, obviously came from the Chicago HQ immature and moronic young people dreaming of a socialist utopia. Very sad indeed, but she does represent how they truly want all of us to live. An unthriving America.
Maybe we can make this go as viral as all of the other parodies of "Julia"!
Enjoyable fairy tale! Although I appreciate the example of the pot-hole episode that would most likely occur because government has not been properly deployed to maintain it's infrastructure, no?
And what's much more likely is that both Julia & Zachary will be dead long before their respective noted ages within your fairy tale because big business will have poisoned our food and water and little Julia will be still-born.
In your fairy tale business takes care of their owners alone, but the owners are so philanthropic and far-sighted they understand how to manage their families and communities and have plenty of time and interest to volunteer within their citizen communities for the greater good. Nice fairy tale.
Really great. Only one itsy bitsy issue... you forgot something. Zachary's persistent Hercules efforts to work around harassing government bureacrats trying to find the location of that basement school. He's read from the government certified media outlets how they are hunting them down and imprisoning these non-government recognized teachers. He's heard through the gravevine some have even died while being taken into custody.....
Nice that Zachary and his life turns out well - but as the first commentor said, that's not really likely.

The Julia mother, as presented by the current administration - would keep going along expecting to be taken care of and Zachary would have learned the same behaviors. As the 3rd (and 4th!) generation welfare families today are.

Note that even in this story - Julia never learned how biology worked, hence the 1/2 sister, still without a Father/husband.
Or a rival story line . Without a father , Zachary has issues with authority lacking a firm hand to explain the ways of the world . When moms gets home from work , she's too tired for meaningful interaction , say reading and so Z's cognitive potential languishes . Hence Z is placed with the other problem kids at school and with time on their hands , the boys start boosting candy and then sunglasses and so Z's life of crime has begun. Fill in the rest : Juvey , drugs and last but not least three strikes , you're out and Z becomes a life time ward of the state .
Anarchocapitalist May 05, 2012 at 9:51 AM
As a hard core selfempoyed capitalist that grew up in komunist country I love the story!
The claim right off the bat that a baby is more likely to be born without a father in a world with easy access to birth control and abortion marks this as deliberate liberal satire of conservative positions, right?
Socialism is the fraudulent idea that we can (and must) all live at the expense of others. Christians and Jews should see how it violates the Commandments that forbid coveting and theft. In the end, its benefits are all lies and since government coercion and compulsion are used to impose it on otherwise unwilling citizens, it is a scheme that always results in murder at the hands of government. Indeed, over 100 million people lost their lives to socialism in the last century alone
The old marketing line, which implied that becoming addicted to cigarettes was a manifestation of feminist advancement, seems just as apropos, regarding the alleged benefits of developing an addiction to government:

You've Come A Long Way, Baby
Forward!
Wonderful piece! Scary for savers and strivers of close to Social Security age, like me. I travel from New York to a small city for my dental work where major work is half the price. Maybe we will also have to travel to West Virginia for medical care in the future? The poorest state closest to New York?
Pure Genius. LOL. I love it.