City Journal Spring 2014

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Spring 2014
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John H. McWhorter
Marrying Out « Back to Story

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Stereotypes are true. Very few white men would date a black women. Not because they are unattractive; rather, it's culturally not cool. If I were to date a black women, they would have to be all natural hair (no products) and be educated.

Going to say this. Black women are very beautiful and sexy; mostly. The thing I don't get is this whole slavery legacy thing. I know there are old images and stories; but if I were to image black women as a brand, I'd just say it need rebranding. Marketing firms do this shit all the time, so why can't black women. If its more a product quality issue then get to work. Either way you need to move it forward.
As a young black woman about to graduate from post-secondary, I am terrified about my future relationship prospects. It is my hope to marry (and potentially raise a family), but I am petrified that the colour of my skin my hamper my chances for success in this realm. Although I am open to the prospect of dating outside the race, white men rarely approach me. I am 23 years old and have only had two white men approach me (I was in a relationship at the time). I have only had a handful of non-white, non-black men approach me. Black men approach me often, but rarely do I have anything in common with those who approach me. There is a conception among the men who approach me that shared blackness is enough to illict my interest. It most certainly is not. Although McWhorter attempts to "dispel" the myth of white men not being interested in black women, from where I am on the ground, the myth is actually a reality.
Oh, please, Yolo! That rhetoric is old. There are more eligible white men interested in black women in 2013, than the reverse! Black men make up about 5 percent of the population; white men are, like, 35 percent. Even if only a quarter of white men are "open to" or "prefer" black women that's more than the handful of working black men, for sure.... It's black women who are holding out.
I think there are two reasons 1) as you mentioned, black women fear other races may not accept their natural hair (sooooo wrong... men who like black women don't care!) and 2)black women have a deep need to be uplifted by black men... so they simply do not want to walk down the street on a white man's arm and pass a black man. Period.
Why are black men so unmarriageable for high-achieving black women? What's up with that?
Yes, some times a dirty look is just a dirtylook, and sometimes, 51 gun shots is just 19 of 51 shots in an inoccent African youth's body, or a 5 to six LAPD police battions are just that…a beat down by pubic servants who will never dare do that to their own, and sometimes, just sometimes...it is also tribualism for a Jewish or Italian or Irish grandmother or father to expect the same from their clan to cement the family and maintain the traditions of that family. Or is this tribalism just an African thing? Is anyone else trying to NEVER AGAIN, preserve their race? No...things have changed...it is an new generation. Just don't try making the voting right act into law...it will almost seem like black history month, every month.
Edward, what you say is laughable In Africa alone each year, the black race carries out more wars, genocides, enslavement etc, than the white race does in a decade.
Perplexed this is an issue September 29, 2011 at 6:02 PM
Why is this a problem worthy of an article? Last I heard we're a free country. Let the chips fall where they may.
Miss Jillian it is laughable for you to say that blacks are the most violent people in the world. Which race has instigated and continues to carry out the most wars, genocides, enslavement etc, etc than the white race. Just because the FBI which has always been a hot bed of racism says something doesnt make it true. Try reading Oswald Spenglers "Decine of the West". As for the Browning of America it will happen because as your good Lord said "the meek shall inherit the earth"
@ George
Your history is selective.

Cambodia’s Killing Fields murdered their fellow Cambodians on a scale that may well be unprecedented in recorded history. You ignore the savage inter-tribal butchery in Africa. Kenyans roaming through towns with machetes, choping down their neighbors, hacking them to death. Briefly: Tojo killed 5 million; Mao=78 million; Pol Pot 1.6 million; Menghistu 1.5 million; Yakubu Gowon 1 million; Ho Chi Min 200,000. None of these folks were white.


The Tuskegee Institute has recorded 3,446 blacks and 1,297 whites were lynched between 1882 and 1968.

U.S. FBI crime statistics,
1. More than 1,600 Whites are murdered by blacks EACH YEAR, which means that blacks murder Whites at 18 times the rate that Whites murder blacks. 2. About 1 million Whites were murdered robbed, raped, or assaulted by blacks in 1992 alone. 3. In the last 30 years, 170 million violent and non-violent crimes were committed by blacks against Whites in the U.S. 4. In crimes of Racial bias, otherwise known as "hate-crimes," over 90% of the victims are Whites. 5 .Although they only comprise one-seventh of the population, blacks commit 7.5 times more violent interracial crimes than Whites. 6. On a per-capita basis, blacks commit 50 times more violent crimes than Whites. 7. In the past 20 years, violent crimes increased four times faster than the population. 8. Between 1964 and 1994, more than 45,000 people were killed in interracial murders (of which blacks commit 18 times more than Whites - see item #1.) Compare this to the death toll of the Vietnam War (58,000 Americans killed) and the Korean War (38,000 Americans killed).

In summary, BLACKS are the most violent people in the world. No matter what country they’re in.

In contrast, if we had the space to list all of the inventions and great contributions to the world made by White people…, well let’s just say it would be far easier to produce a list of things not invented by whites.

If the White race is replaced by Blacks and Browns in the US, then the US will become the Third World hell-hole that is Africa and South America. Poor, poor, pitiful blacks and browns, they can’t do anything without Whites. They have NEVER created a country like White Western Civilization, and they never will.


So Georgie I think you better hope and pray that the US never goes brown.

-----
Truth would quickly cease to become stranger than fiction, once we got as used to it. -- H.L. Mencken

Hey George,
The "browning of America" is coming not from blacks, but from Latinos, whom are technically Caucasians.
Also, you are one hate filled dude!
Actually, in my experience women of African ancestry from the Caribbean are way more open to dating outside their group. they are also as a group more likely to be of mixed heritage themselves, and as a rule, are better looking as a group. One girl I dated from Guyana, who was of mixed African-Indian ancestry, joked "Everyone knows that they picked the best looking women at the first stop", which was usually islands in the Caribben!
"However, it is very clear that black women in this country are only interested in African American men..and most likely think that black men from Africa and the Caribbean and perhaps even from the UK are beneath them!"

Not so! The reason why African American women aren't pairing up with Caribbean & African men is because all these groups have different cultures and social groups. Like most immigrant populations, Caribbean and African people tend to socialize with people from the same country. Africans in particular will socialize with people who share their language and dialect. And quite frankly, its African & Caribbean people who think that Black Americans are beneath them. These immigrants come from countries where the education system and community structure is much stronger.
"in our culture is defined as a woman who has white skin, straight long hair and a thin body."

...and a very sharp pointy white girl nose!
"I, for one, don't want White people to go extinct,and I'm not looking forward to the "browning of America.""

Spoken like a death row inmate who is afraid of his impending death without thinking about what brought him or her the predicament. If I had committed atrocities and murder as white people have done in this country, I will be afraid too of the browning of America. This includes not only lynching of blacks during Jim Crow days, not to speak of ante-bellum times, but also running up huge debt and nearly bringing this country down! The punishment.."browning of America" fits the crime.."lynching, murder and indebtedness." This is true whether you look forward to the impending execution of white America or not!
Power comes in numbers. Perhaps if black women married African or Caribbean men and brought them and their families to this country...they would hasten the browning of America and make whites a minority a lot sooner than we expect. However, it is very clear that black women in this country are only interested in African American men..and most likely think that black men from Africa and the Caribbean and perhaps even from the UK are beneath them! And by this attitude they keep white people a majority longer than they need to be and racism festers like a sore wound!
Oh, please, what a bunch of garbage. the reason more white men don't marry black women is because the vast majority of white men do not find most black women to be attractive. And that is the truth. it has nothing to do with a black woman being more open to marrying outside their race. I', sure many black women would love to have a white man. The white man just doesn't want her.
Another episode of "What Black People Are Doing Wrong" by City Journal.
Instead of insisting that black women date outside of their race, why don't we insist that black men improve? This book unfortunately continues the unfair burden of responsibility placed on black women. And it is yet another example of how black men continue to be given little or no expectations. This has got to stop!!
The racism and misinformation by many of the comments here are really sad. Almost everyone here has uttered every ridiculous stereotype and falsehood known to man!

First and foremost, most people of ANY race marry within their race. Interracial dating & marriage is increasing across the board, but its still represents a vast minority across the racial/ethnic spectrum.

Second, the MAIN reason why black women do not marry outside of the race is because black women are not the image of beauty in American culture. Beauty in our culture is defined as a woman who has white skin, straight long hair and a thin body. The black women is the antithesis of all of this - dark skin, (naturally) short curly hair and carries curves, particularly in the gluteus area. But that's all because of DNA and not some hatred of white people.

Third, I don't know what year you all are still in but in the past couple of years I've seen more black women with white men than ever before. Where do you all live? Who do you all interact with? Many of you must live under a rock considering the comments made here.
I knew black women when I was single, would love to have dated some of them, but in the 70's at least, I just assumed, probably correctly, that black women would never date a white man. I recall being at a party once given by a black friend and co-worker, and asked whether any of the black women present would go out with me if I asked. He told me, "yes, if she's cool." But, I didn't have the nerve to ask. Also in the eighties, when her car broke down, I recall giving a black women co-worker a lift home from work, and she asked me to drop her off a few blocks from home - she didn't want her neighbors to see her in the company of a white man. What a world we live in!

Unfortunately, the Democratic left and their friends in the media are more interested in playing separation politics, and are firmly against the notion of the melting pot, and interracial couples are clearly not favored by this "open minded" bunch. That's why this issue is almost never addressed in the media - and why you see few examples of interracial couples on network television. The mostly white, mostly males who control the Democratic media are deeply racist themselves, and are very uncomfortable with the issue. It also goes against the poisonous separation politics that Democrats have been promoting for decades. It's all part of a twisted world view that Democrats have been imposing upon the rest of us for decades.


"The picture is little better for black men, fewer than half of whom are husbands. (Affluent black men, in fact, become less likely to marry the more money they earn—the reverse of the trend for white men.)"

Banks needs to figure out why this is true.
These affluent black men are the men affluent black women should marry.

As a percentage of world inhabitants, the white population will plummet to a single digit (9.76%) by 2060 from a high-water mark of 27.98% in 1950.

Using 2010 as the base reference, the big gainer in the population derby will be blacks or sub-Sahara Africans. This group will expand almost 133% to 2.7 billion by 2060. By the middle of this century blacks will represent 25.38% of world population. We don't concern ourselves nearly enough about race.

I, for one, don't want White people to go extinct,and I'm not looking forward to the "browning of America."
It seems clear that black women, as a group, don't marry white men because they have no confidence in their sex appeal or ability to attract men outside their "race." However, competition with "white women" is nothing new. The multiracial woman (mulatto or quadroon) has long been seen by black males as a captive source of Caucasian loveliness. Why do you think that the NAACP and other black elites threw a collective hissy fit at the thought of simply having a "multiracial" category for the Census? Why do you think that black elites like Henry Lewis Gates, Jr. and Brent Staples spend so much of their careers claiming white people as "black" via a "one drop rule" that has no legality and only blacks want to enforce?

Don't believe black women who claim that they want to preserve "black skin" in their children. Traditionally, black women and men were eager to marry mulattoes and quadroons in order to get that prized Caucasian DNA in their children. Caucasian genes were seen as a source of both beauty and intelligence. Why do you think that blacks go berserk at the thought of mixed-race people "passing for white" or "denying" blacks by identifying as something else? They know that they've lost potential marriage partners with that prized Caucasian DNA, "good" hair, fair skin and the change to indulge in interracial marriage while pleading "not guilty" on a technicality.


Not addressed in this study is the possibility that black women may well fear that white men are less well "endowed" anatomically than black men. Which, of course, is a myth; but a myth that, needless to say, black men are not in any hurry to disspell.

Otherwise, it would be interesting to study the experiences of black women in Britain and France, for example, where interracial marriage has traditionally been more accepted than it has in the United States.
Eventually, we will have to come to terms with biology, and more specifically with a certain chemical imbalance. I refer to the far greater amount of testosterone that black men must deal with. Much of the dysfunctional behavior we see among black males can be attributed to this hormonal overload. And then there is the one standard deviation in lower IQ on average (clearly people like John McWhorter are way over on one side of the bell curve). These are taboo subjects, but it won't help to play the ostrich. Ultimately, we will have pharmacological means of rectifying the situation, or we better have if society is to right itself.
Black women are the racial "spear carriers". They are expected to sacrifice themselves for the race and not the black man, who is commonly seen as being weak and shiftless. He thinks with his penis and cannot be counted on to save the black race.

Unfortunately, black women who have been suckled on this race consciousness are both burdened and benefited by it. They revel in the central, controlling role it gives them in the black community and the power over black men, and at the same time they hate being burdened with a bunch of shiftless losers.

They find the meaning in their lives supporting shiftless losers against the blue-eyed devil, which really is easy, given their perfect physical security in the white community. But they do have to sacrifice themselves emotionally and physically to a bunch of chump black males.

The farther and farther that black women advance in white workplaces the harder and harder it is for them to tolerate the sorry excuses that black men offer for not matching their black female performance and hard work.
I agree, I think dating inter-racially is better for everyone. It breaks down stereotypes.
As a white man, it never really occurred to me to date a black woman, despite the odd crush now and then.

By the time I graduated college, I pretty much assumed all black women hated white men. We seemed to be the cause of all their woes, or so my college courses and assorted campus groups led me to believe.

After a while, I figured even if I found one that didn't hate white folks for all the institutional oppressing we're guilty of, that the clash of cultures and families could hardly be worth the effort.
A factor here might be the different roles of men and women in anchoring the family in society. It's not so much a matter of whether a culture is matrilocal, since people (especially the highly educated) are so mobile nowadays. It's about the woman's responsibility for the social and moral tone of the family. A woman who marries out of her own group has to jump one way or the other, and if her culture is felt to be inferior (I speak from experience as someone who married up the social scale) then she has to adopt the mores of her husband's culture. He may or may not bother about what other people think - it will be up to her to carry him and any children safely through social situations. She may or may not be able to preserve good social relations with her family of origin. They may well be very happy for her - but they would be aghast if her husband tried to fit in with them. So she is adrift in strange social and cultural waters unable to rely on the way she was socialised herself, as the author suggests.
@tom merle - I think you are right in that many black women are not socially confident because they are too concerned about what others think. I don't have this issue because I know that I can relate to everyone and do all of the time, but I also do things to keep myself interest and to keep my self esteem high. I'm fit, exploratory and there is a part of my mind that says "who wouldn't want to be in my company? Simply because if I find myself interesting, I know others will too! So I think there is a lot of changing, reinventing that will have to do to cross barriers that maybe they are hesitant to take on or simply feel overwhelmed by. But it has to be done. I won't allow myself not to be in the mix with everybody. If there is a case where I feel excluded, I'm going to ensure that I'm not. But most people are welcoming to others when they find out that they're good people to be around. We can't allow stereotypes to rule or ruin our lives. This is the same with everyone else.
Yes, I think some people are hesitant to change, but others need to assess themselves and determine if they are marketable physically and emotionally. Not simply professionally. Once they are in all three areas, then they would see better luck but most black women are overweight in their prime years which is a no-no. Sure, maybe some non-black women are too, but black women can't afford not to be, in my opinion. We need to have our A game on at all times.
One problem is that -- on average -- white men are more politically conservative than women in general, and black women surely are considerably more liberal than the average adult female.

Yes, there are still a bunch of clueless, swaggerless heterosexual liberal men (universally recognized as less manly than conservatives), but a large swath of astute white conservative and libertarian males are pretty much off-limits for most black women -- by mutual agreement.
I read, some years ago, a study which looked into interracial marriage in its various forms. The conclusion of the study was interesting. Obviously, marriage involves people who *aren't* racists, at least in theory. I suppose you could be a racist towards blacks for instance, but marry a Latina, but for the sake of simplicity we'll leave that aside. Anyway, the study also made part of its parameters the heights of the individuals in question. It turns out, according to the study's authors, that men like their partners to be shorter than they, and women like their partners to be taller. When you correlated this with the racial data, something interesting occurred. Asian women marry everyone, and of course on average they're the shortest of the various ethnicities. Latinas are also somewhat shorter, and they tend to marry a lot outside their racial group also. Whites are a bit taller than their Hispanic counterparts, but still short, and they marry outside their group a lot, too. Black women, however, are the tallest, and marry outside their group hardly at all. In contrast, Black men marry outside their group a lot, so do white men; Hispanic men do a bit, and Asian men marry outside their group almost not at all. Apparently with Asian men there are even internet sites where the guys get together and complain about how their women run off with other ethnicities.

All of these things are factors, and I think you've made some good points. I'm just trying to add a different perspective to the mix
One of the more destructive dimensions to this situation is what we might call the Halle Barry or Beyonce or Tyra Banks syndrome: the preference given to multiracial women. As skin color darkens African American women retreat into their group of girl friends. If only the Michelle Obama, Oprah and other black high achievers didn't straighten their hair to move closer to the white standard of beauty. Low self esteem keeps too many black women from asserting themselves in the dating scene.
Blacks are always way more racist than all but the most Neanderthal whites. As it has always been, especially in the North, if you want to be ghetto, we will leave you be. If you want to behave, you are welcome to join us. If that means you must embrace western cultural norms, like not being confrontational and violent, so be it. If you can't do it, go away. It's that simple.
For those who think I'm being too simplistic, have you ever spent time with working blacks, not PhD's, but middle class? They have gone downhill for 40 years. I knew many proud, valuable black people, especially men, in the '60's and '70's. Please tell me where they've gone. I'd like to rejoin them.
Whether it was Johnson or the founder of Planned Parenthood is meaningless. No black woman has to isolate herself...it is a choice they make. What the country needs are the best and brightest marrying and having children. Being preoccupied with race hurts all of us. Jackson, Sharpton, Obama add to the problem.
The continuing horrible result of the "Great Society" program of Lindon Baynes Johnson.(LBJ) The same (DEMOCRAT) President who lost Vietnam and destroyed the Black Family coherence at the same time (1967) with Gov't money payments that required the black father not be living in the house with his family or the "FREE GOV'T child support money to the mother was CUT OFF" To paraphrase the lefties during the war: "Hey!HEY! LBJ! How many (black)Kids have you ruined til this day? I saw this happen and it's worse every year.